imagine a place ...

When directed to "imagine a place ..." i always think of the same thing.

i imagine a small clearing in a deep forest with soft grass and afternoon sunlight dappling through the trees. It has a quiet little stream and i hear the sounds of the forest: leaves rustling, once in a while the sound of a small bird, water burbling over rocks. Sunlight sparkles on the water in that wistful way that comes before dusk begins. The sky has only a few small clouds, moving lazily by. This is the place that little 'i' live in. i live here alone but it's not a sad kind of alone. It's a comforting kind of alone. i'm strong here and i don't think about anything, just watch the stream and the clouds and rest. i don't hurt here, i feel nothing more than the grass and the breeze. i just ... relax. This is the place i go to get away from the big world and live in my own.

i feel much better now, only a little melancholy and wistful. Maybe i'll try "imagining a place" and see if i can relax enough to sleep tonight. It's a little lonely sleeping by myself and the only time i sleep restfully is when Eugene is next to me, but i have a really, really nice mattress that i treated myself to after sleeping on a terrible one for several years. Everyone should have a mattress they love as much as i love this one! At least when i'm not sleeping, i can be comfortable. Except that the metal one-size-fits-all bed frame squeaks. That's got to be on my current list of top 10 things that get on my nerves.

Off to kiss Quinn's little head while she sleeps, puncture my foot on some random toy piece that's left lying on the floor, stumble my way to bed, and collapse on my wonderful mattress. If only i wasn't to sleepy to make myself a nice cup of tea. That's another thing i love. The smell of Jasmine Dragon Phoenix Pearls tea from Teavana. Mmmm. Once in a while i'll make a cup more to inhale than to drink. Maybe i'm not too tired for just one cup of tea.